Birthdays and all sorts!
Hello!!! Hi!!

Well I HAVE been a busty Bertie! Firstly we had Roy's birthday! We made a cake! Well, we tried to make a cake it didn't quite go cake shaped or taste like cake nor was it in any way a cake, but we tried, and that's the most important thing. We also tried to learn the rules of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock (Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitate lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, rock crushes scissors) but eventually that lost some of it's momentum. And we watched a few films. That was nice, I do love a good film.

However they weren't very good films either but never mind.

Richmond's still alive! So that was good news. Some might say more alive than any of us- he went to a party and met a GIRL. He's been asking Roy and myself and Jen for advice but I don't know if we were very good at it, Roy said to ignore her for about a month until she was really keen, I said he should ask her if she wanted to come larping and Jen said he should TALK to her and ask her out like he was a NORM. We did laugh. Silly Jen. We all wish him the best I suppose.

I've never had much luck with women myself. I almost had a romantic engagement with my former therapist but then she looked like Roy's mum so that was a big no go. Then there was that thing I'm not allowed to remember that happened on the work night out. Probably for the best. My boss tried to kiss me once but he was full of rhohypnol and can't fully be accountable for his actions. I do have my internet elf girlfriend on WoWC but I'm not INSANE I know shes not a real elf.

She's all a bit verily and forsooth anyway.

Anyway I best be getting back to work, this dot-matrix wont rewire it's self!

Writer's Block: Kindness of Strangers
Would you donate a kidney or bone marrow to a stranger?
Well that depends entirely on what they plan to do with it.

Writer's Block: On the Airwaves
If you had your own radio or television station, what would it be called and what kind of programming would it play?

It would be called MOSS.FM! and it would play the rockin'est, hip hop'enest beats from all of time, all the decades would be there, the 70's, the 80's... not the 90's so much I had to listen to s club 7 with my cousin Marie and I would rather NOT relive that thank you, the 2000's or "naughties" as people seem to insist on calling them. All of them there, all the different songs and... melodies. The thumping rhythms... the rowdy beats. Spliced in with that would be interviews from the sientists of the day, not the dusty old ones but the rebel scientists, like Robert Smith? And Nikola Tesla... had he not... actually... been dead for the past sixty years... 

Yep it would be good.




Would have been an excellent joke to start with had we gone to a funeral and not in fact a wedding. 


I told it to Roy when we were on the ferry but he was all green and ill looking so I don’t know if he appreciated it that much but Roy, look! Top of the mourning to you! Because you’re Irish! It’s an Irish stereotype that you say that! Ah but look, there’s a play on words! Because it should be top of the MORNING but I’ve put MOURNING which sounds slightly the same but isn’t really the same at all!


We went to a wedding in Tullamore, Roy says the only reason people go to Tullamore is for a wedding, but I found it fascinating!


Tullamore (Tulach Mhór in Irish, which is still a very important language in Ireland, but nobody seems to know how to speak it. Like Welsh in Wales really. Or Gaelic in Scotland, written on all the signs but no one speaks it…) is a town in County Offaly, in the midlands of Ireland. It is Offaly's county town and the centre of a district the population of which totals around 15,000. Tullamore is an important commercial and industrial centre in the region. Major international employers in the town include 'Tyco Healthcare' and 'Boston Scientific', which both sound very important. In the year 2004, Tullamore Retail Park was formed. It includes outlets such as a Tesco Extra hypermarket, DID electrical, Argos Extra, Burger King (I have to say I have always been more of a fan of ‘I’m lovin’ it’ than of ‘Have it your way’; ‘Have it your way’ sounds like you’ve gone in a Stropy Simon and the Burger King employee is trying to conciliate you as best he can. Of course MacDonald’s would win hands down had they instead made the decision of going with ‘I’m loving it’, or to make it even clearer, replace the ‘it’ with ‘Macdonald’s chain store food and beverages’) and a Woodies DIY.


You can Email me at if you would like to know more about this fascinating little town, I for one am RIVITED.


It was fine but I think I must have done something to upset Roy because he slept in the bath and baths aren’t usually for sleeping in. unless this is another Irish thing I don’t know about, like all of his relatives blessing me. For a while I was worried I might be ill and no one had told me yet but that also no one had told them that I didn’t know. I would have asked but it always seems so rude to enquire after an illness, even if it is your own.


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